our Heidi.

As many of you know, last Sunday, April 25... I lost one of my best friends. This has been an incredibly difficult week and a half, one that I never expected. One that no one can be prepared for or no one can know where to go from here. There's no game plan, no "set way to cope." My dear friend Heidi is gone. She's not on vacation or out of town.. she's home with her Savior.

It has been a mix of emotions for all of us. There's the terrible sick feeling, a pit in my stomach that makes me ache all over. There's the strange joyous feeling of hope, of knowing that Heidi is exactly where she should be, and she wouldn't come back, even if she had the chance. My new hero is her husband, Nick Firkus. He has taught us all more about faith and hope in this terribly long week than ever before. He is an amazing example of the insane peace that God can give. I know he is hurting, I know this isn't ever going to be "easy" on any of us, but God is so good. So good.

Her funeral was incredible. 1,600 people came to honor the life that Heidi lived. Watson, Hilary and I had the privilege of sharing about the joy, fun and humor that Heidi brought to our lives. Even as I write this, I smile! She was a jewel, a unique person that I had the privilege of knowing for the time I did.

Please pray. Pray for Nick, number one. Pray for these days and weeks to come as he has to find some kind of "normal" in this new, difficult life. Pray for strength and that he lean on his God through every day. Pray for her family, her mom, dad, brothers and sister in laws. Pray for his family. And please pray for us, for her friends. We miss her terrible. There's a void in our lives that will never go away. Sure, we can find a way through all this to "move on," even though I have no idea what that looks like.. but we will never ever be the same.

For those who have been praying, thank you sooo much. I feel a peace and a hope that only the Lord gives. As he says, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

Nick gave us the speech on his facebook page that he spoke at the funeral. Like I said, he's an incredible man; I envy his faith. This is the end of his talk, which is a quote by C.S. Lewis. This sums it up...

"The term is over: the holidays have begun. The dream is ended: this is morning." And as He spoke, He no longer looked to them like a lion; but the things that began to happen after that were so great and beautiful that I cannot write them. And for us this is the end of all stories, and we can most truly say that they lived their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and title page. Now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the great story which no one on earth has read, which goes on forever, in which every chapter is better than the one before."