life.

how fitting that the day after we celebrate and reflect on the incredible sacrifice that Jesus made.. the incredible life of Christ.. we again have the privilege of celebrating the life of Heidi Firkus.  She has been with her Savior, sitting next to our Jesus, for one year.  She left this earth, to be in her permanent home, April 25th of last year.  

As always, as I stop and think about my dear friend, which is a regular occurrence in my head, I can't help but smile.  She lived her life, she lived it to the fullest.  When she saw Jesus, I know he said, "well done, my good and faithful servant."  

I hope you don't mind if this gets quite wordy, but I wanted to share the talk I gave at a women's conference a few months ago.  

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Just a little bit about my background.. I’m probably like many of you here today.. I grew up in a Christian home with parents that loved the Lord and raised me to love Him and know Him as my Savior.  Needless to say, I  had a great childhood.  Throughout much of my life, I didn’t really think I had a life-changing testimony.  Sure I had trials here and there, but it was to the extent of... “oh I probably shouldn’t gossip.”  or “I worry to much, Lord please help me with that.”  

But I knew the Lord.  I treasured his word, meditated on his truths and love getting to know his character.  I longed to know him more and to dig deeper into who He was to me.  My relationship with Christ made sense.. it was easy and I enjoyed all the blessings of having a relationship with Him.

Then, one Sunday morning of this last year. . . April 25th to be exact. .  things got a little difficult.  My dear friend, Heidi was tragically killed.   A man broke into her home, shot and killed her and injured her husband with a gunshot wound.  It’s still so hard to even say those words.  I will never forget that day.  If you’ve ever had to experience such a tragedy, you know that your heart physically aches.  This idea of death, or having to let go of my friend. . it consumed my mind and haunted my thoughts.  It brought on days and months of hurt and heartache.

I could go on and on about Heidi.  Oh I miss her like crazy.  She was one of those everyday friends.  Whether it was a text, a quick email, or a phone call just to check in.   There were 4 of us close girlfriends that shared many experiences and many memories.. she was 1 of 4.  A very individual and unique 1.   This tragedy sure shook all of us.

So. . now I had a choice.  I knew God right?  I knew him to be a gracious, loving God.  A rock, a stronghold, an anchor for my soul.  I had to cling to His truths.  I thought and prayed.. Lord, if you are who you say you are, you WILL rescue me.  You have to!

During those dark days ahead when I felt myself falling, he filled me with his truths.  

In John he says:  “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me.  Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows.  But take heart because I have overcome the world.”

In 2 Corinthians, “My grace is sufficient, my power is made perfect in weakness.”  Oh Lord, I am weak.

In Matthew he said, “Come to me, all who are weary and I will give you rest.”  Lord, how I needed your rest.     

And in Psalms 91, “He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God and I trust him.. he will shelter you with his wings, His faithful promises are your armor and protection.”

I desperately needed his armor and protection, his shelter.

In this moment of grave sorrow and hurt, I HAD to cling to the God I knew and never once needed to doubt who He was.  I stayed afloat, only through God’s strength.  I survived and am surviving and can actually thank the Lord for this trial, for perfecting my faith, for carrying it on until completion.

I encourage you today to seek Him, know Him and trust that He is who He says he is.  And in those tough moments, hold on to one of my favorite verses.  In Exodus, Moses tells his people, “Don’t be afraid.  Just stand still and watch the Lord rescue you today.  The Lord himself will fight for you, just stay calm.”

We miss you everyday Heidi, but are envious of where you are.  As we always say, see you soon!